Boston sports fans always wonder why the rest of America loathes them. Feigning shock, they declare themselves the best fans in the country, and wonder why the rest of us just can't bow down and acknowledge their innate, genetic superiority.
Here's why we hate you, Boston fans. It's not just your entitled arrogance, though that certainly makes the hate easier to justify. No, it's this: because when your teams get down, get pinned against the ropes, they come out throwing haymakers. Witness: Sunday night's game, in which the Patriots rebounded from a humiliating Monday night loss by absolutely woodshedding the NFL's last undefeated team, the Cincinnati Bengals. The final score was 43-17, and it wasn't even that close.
We mock Bill Belichick's monotone and Tom Brady's hair and Rob Gronkowski's cinderblock skull, but we all know we'd love any of them on our team, and deep down we know we'd be every bit as insufferable as Boston fans. We say all this knowing full well that this only feeds Boston fans' insatiable egos. We also say this knowing that the peculiar alchemy that Brady and Belichick have created in New England is nearer to its ending than its beginning.
But before that ending comes, there's likely to be much more of this: Belichick weathering press conferences with the dour expression of a man forced to eat his own shoe. Brady picking apart defenses with the casual air of an office bro sinking crumpled-paper shots in a break-room trash can. The Patriots gorging themselves on the hopes and dreams of opposing teams and their fans.
Coming into Sunday night's game, the Bengals had trailed for exactly 48 seconds all season. They'd ridden a surprisingly balanced attack to a flawless record, and appeared to be set up to hammer the nails into New England's coffin.
The Patriots kicked over that particular sandcastle before Cincinnati even got its hands on the ball. Brady took the Patriots 80 yards to the end zone on the opening drive, and that was as close as Cincinnati would stay all night. Bengals QB Andy Dalton had the quietest 200-yard, two-touchdown night you'll see, and running back Giovanni Bernard was virtually invisible.
The game had one statistical milestone: Brady's 50,000th passing yard, rung up on a pass to Gronkowski that set up New England's second touchdown of the night. It was part of Brady's 292-yard, two-touchdown effort. Stephen Ridley carried the ball 27 times for 113 yards and a touchdown. Gronkowski added another 100 yards on the nose, plus a touchdown. The whole "team effort" line gets a bit sickening from the Patriots faithful, especially when so many of them were happy to throw Brady's offensive line to the wolves after last week, but the truth is this: everything New England did this week, it did well. That's good news for Pats fans, bad news for everyone else.
If there's any comfort to the legions of Patriots haters in the world, it's this: at some point — not today, and not as soon as the naysayers were predicting, but someday — the dynasty will run its course. Belichick will pull the hoodie over his head and shuffle off into the sunset, while Brady will retire to his own private island. Time will always win out.
Then again, if anyone could figure out a way to beat the inexorable march of Time, you can bet it'd be Brady and Belichick. Those $@$^#.
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Jay Busbee is a writer for Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at jay.busbee@yahoo.com or find him on Facebook or on Twitter.
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