Tuesday, 10 March 2015

What would a Bill Belichick-themed wedding look like?


So a New England-area couple decided to remind their friends to save the date for their upcoming nuptials by employing the face of one Bill Belichick, the man for whom the term "party" was truly invented. It's a nice idea, clever enough that it caught the Patriots' eye, but it got us to thinking: what exactly would it be like if The Hoodie decided to get into the wedding business?


A Bill Belichick-themed wedding would be a spectacular event, and we think it'd go a little something like this:


• One of the bridesmaids would be cut just prior to the ceremony for salary cap reasons. No refund on the dress.


• The groom would be swapped out for a younger, more handsome groom who turns the marriage into a dynasty.


• All guests expected to wear Patriots gear in church. Anyone wearing Jets or Bills attire may be cursed at openly. Anyone wearing Giants attire will be escorted from the premises.


• Couple's vows would be amended to include "wicked" as well as other quaint Boston aphorisms such as "@%#%," "$@^$," and "#%@% you, Rex Ryan."


• Quailty Belichick-themed reception entertainment:



• A few flowers would be removed from the bouquet to make it easier to throw.


• Peyton Manning would get an invitation to the reception, but would be seated in the hallway.


• Sum total of all reception toasts: "We're moving on to the honeymoon."


• Bride's dress includes a hoodie.


This needs to happen. Go for it, happy New England couples-to-be.


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Jay Busbee is a writer for Yahoo Sports. Contact him at jay.busbee@yahoo.com or find him on Twitter.



And keep up with Jay over on Facebook, too.




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